Transition Time

One of the best parts about this job is all of the incredible people I get to work with!  The above picture is of Erigeur and Madame Erigeur (I'll try to find her given name to include it here) with their daughter.  They are both very gifted CHE trainers.
“Copyright © 2012 Deborah Carr”

As you will have seen in my latest newsletter and Christmas card, I returned to the United States in late November to discern next steps in ministry with my main sending church, Epic Christian Church. (If you don't get my newsletter, please let me know!)  My mission organization, Medical Ambassadors International (MAI), asked me to continue working with them in a different region. However, the local Haiti team and our American church partners have asked me to continue working with them in Haiti.

Ministry in Haiti has expanded so much over the past two years that I have been there – not due to me but due to the fact that so many people are hearing about the effectiveness of our ministry tools, Community Health Evangelism (CHE), and are asking us to partner with them all over Haiti. In addition, our dedicated volunteer trainers continue to spread the good news of the whole gospel, which in these tragic times of cholera has been recognized for the good news that it is, both physically and spiritually! It is so exciting to be part of a ministry that is bearing so much fruit.

So, after much prayer and counsel, I have resigned from MAI but I will be continuing with the same work in Haiti as a missionary sent out by my Arizona church, which has an account for me and will accept donations for my work (see below for how to do this).  I will be traveling in the US and Europe from January to March, visiting friends and family.  During this time I will work remotely, assisting our American church partners with their communication and plans with the local Haiti team and helping the local team in other ways that they ask.

During my five years with MAI I've met so many wonderful people and seen incredible transformations of both individuals and communities, witnessing God's faithfulness over and over again. Thank you for your support which makes this possible!

Here I am with Erigeur's son on their porch.  He'd exchanged shirts with his little friend this day (she's a girl).  One of the elements of my job that I like the most is interpreting -- here for the photographer of this picture, Deborah Carr, and our Canadian interns at the time, Rick and Rhonda Hamilton.
“Copyright © 2012 Deborah Carr”

To donate for my work in Haiti:

Epic Christian Church

P.O. Box 550

Queen Creek, AZ 85142-1810

Write in memo line: Haiti Mission

To donate to the local Haiti team or to our Area Coordinator, Osse St Juste:

Medical Ambassadors International

P.O. Box 1302

Salida, CA 95368

888-403-0600 x215

Write in memo line: Haiti or Osse St. Juste

Shocking?

The tragedy in Newtown:  people said it was "devastating" and "shocking" and couldn't stop posting about it.  I didn't get it.  I mean, obviously I get that it was horrible, but it certainly didn't seem completely unexpected, given the frequency of mass shootings.  But my response seems so at odds with that of many around me (I am currently in Arizona).  Is that because I've been hanging out with non-American expats (primarily French and Belgian) in Haiti that are not surprised to hear of these things happening in the US, what with our lax gun laws and lack of health care coverage (including mental health care)?

I started to wonder if I was perhaps just getting immune to tragedy, with floods and cholera and other disasters and diseases coming one after the other in Haiti without safety nets or funds for adequate risk prevention.  And those things are happening to people I know personally, to my friends and their families. 

Or was it because I have been living overseas for five years and am more distanced from events here in the US?  Or perhaps was I not so affected because Connecticut is geographically far away?  But I'd just been horrified by the fire in a Bangladesh garment factory that killed 112 people.   Of course, I felt partially involved in that event since I had recently broken my decades-long ban on Walmart (I've always been aware that there's a reason why Walmart can sell merchandise so cheaply, I just tried to push those thoughts aside since the Walmart is the closest store where I'm currently living). 

Was it because I am painfully aware that I pay (via my tax dollars) to kill children overseas?


I don't know.

Sermon heard in Cap Haitien

My notes from Pere Noe's sermon on Sunday, November 11, 2012 after severe flooding in Cap Haitien:

"This week we saw the water come down. We saw people die. But we also saw solidarity....Human beings are fragile, our lives can be snuffed out in a moment like a match....As Christians we are salt and light. We need to be an example of love and solidarity – we need to follow Jesus not just with our mouths but with our actions. Jesus paid the debt for our sins by dying on the cross. He accepted suffering and death to give us life. We also must act in solidarity with people who are suffering....

1) We are light. Where we see corruption, Christians must stand up and be light....The prophets denounced injustice. We need to take up this responsibility.

2) As we live in harmony with God, and also harmony with our neighbor, we recognize that we are responsible to build up a society that reflects peace, joy.

3) As we live the Word we ask God for forgiveness for what we have done wrong – no one is without fault.

My problem is your problem. My trouble is your trouble. My tèt chaje (lit. “weighted/loaded head,” meaning stress over lots of trouble) is your tèt chaje. And as we do this we break the works of Satan."

Traveling -- this time for fun!

On a train heading to a woods in which to hike

I'm on vacation!  Well, mostly -- I've had a few work calls and e-mails, but I think I'm nearly done with that.  Work has been pretty intense recently -- lots of travel -- including weekends -- and staying in the office late while in town.  I'm really glad to have these days off.

I'm a full-time missionary, which means that my salary and work expenses come from donors.  Now, I've always been a very frugal person, so mostly this isn't difficult.  Living in Haiti has also made me a more generous and sacrificial person, and I have even learned to (sometimes) give up my food so that a friend could eat.  But I'm actually on vacation in Europe right now.  How does this work?

My friends are scattered all over the world, and it just so happens that one of my best friends from way back is a woman who lives in Germany.  Eva and I were roommates for three years, and we have stayed really close -- since I've become a missionary she's paid the phone bills so that we can continue to talk several times a month.  She was due to visit me in Haiti in October, but sadly had to have an operation and canceled her trip.  I really wanted/needed vacation, and actually had some people give me personal funds to make it possible to come visit Eva.

To me, spending vacation in Germany is about the same as spending it in Ohio or California -- I just have to sit a little longer on a plane.  I've lived in Europe twice (Italy and Spain) and before becoming a missionary I traveled here several times.  I've even visited Eva twice in Stuttgart already (well, I think it might be three times, but she thinks it's been twice).  So I would like to list the things that make this trip exciting to me.  They are actually all things that would be true of my life if I lived in Arizona, Minnesota, or Seattle -- and are probably true of your life, too:

• Clean drinking water from the tap!
• Hot water from the tap!
• Autumn weather (although in Arizona we would call this "winter weather")
• A beautiful apartment where things work and paint isn't peeling
• Quiet
• A piano to play
• Coffee shops
• A really huge variety of healthy food, and yummy, yummy food (Vietnamese food!  hummus!  pastries!)
• Comfortable furniture
• Exercising without feeling faint from the heat
• Not having to scrub the dirt off my feet at night
• And the biggest and best and most important thing of all:  A friend to talk with face-to-face that I've known for more than a year or two.

This is a very over-exposed picture of Eva -- we were eating outside at a Vietnamese restaurant in downtown Stuttgart. (It's phenomenal to travel with a vegetarian!)

Now, I love the life that I live in Haiti -- the ministry, my co-workers, the music school at which I volunteer -- and do not spend my days thinking about all of the things listed above that I "lack."  (Well, except for friends -- I haven't known anyone in Haiti for more than a year or two, and many of my friends there have already moved or are moving away.)   And I sometimes feel weird that people know that I'm here in Stuttgart, since it sounds exotic and tourist-y and castle-y to many people.  It doesn't sound that way to me (and donor funds didn't pay for it).   Tonight I get to meet Eva's small group (cell group/community group) from church, and on Saturday her parents are coming down to visit -- fun for me, but not a castle!  :)

Moving?

I lived the first 17 years of my life in one place:  a western suburb of Cleveland, Ohio.  My Mom just sold that house two years ago.

Once I graduated from high school I started moving around -- I spent a year in Italy as an exchange student and then moved to St. Paul, Minnesota to start college.  I moved around in a typical way for a college student, I guess:  two dorm rooms, five apartments, my aunt's house for a summer and a semester abroad in Toledo, Spain.

Fifteen years ago I left Minnesota for...  

• medical school in Des Moines, Iowa (two different apartments in my two years there)
• Dayton, Ohio for my third year of medical school
• I then put my things in storage to spend a year of medical rotations in Oklahoma, Texas, Minnesota, the Bronx, Iowa (Davenport), Ohio
• back to Minnesota for residency
• Arizona for work
• Argentina
• Haiti

I currently live in a pension, where I have my own bedroom and bathroom and am given breakfast every morning.  During my first year here I got lunch as well, but I quickly grew tired of fried meat and simple carbs (boiled plantains or rice and beans with far more rice than beans is daily fare here).  So now I eat mangos, freshly roasted peanuts, imported Grape Nuts, etc.   I still haven't fully figured it out.

My good friend Blandine has decided to stay for the next year -- or rather, she said "sûrement," which is apparently only 95% sure.  Her roommate leaves in two weeks, and I can move in with her.  Her apartment is very close to where I currently live and work and is still on the sea (read:  slightly cooler breezes than the rest of town). 

Advantages:

• I will be able to keep it clean -- my current place has really old tile and stuck-on grime everywhere.  Blandine's apartment is new-ish, so much easier to clean.
• When all of my friends and family start to come visit me (ahem), I will have a place for them to stay.
• I will have a kitchen and a refrigerator, expanding the possibilities for what I can eat (or at least of what I can import and then conserve)
• I will have a little privacy -- right now the guests that are put in the rooms next to mine can see directly into my room from the shared balcony.  
• My French will improve!

Disadvantages:

• The people that work at this pension are like a second family to me.  And while for me that is an emotional tie, for them it is both emotional and economic (this place is kind of run down, and every guest means more job security for them).
• I haven't had a roommate for 15 years.  I think I'm pretty flexible, since I do live with other people for several months out of every year as I travel, but still -- I'm a little worried this could hurt our friendship.
• I don't have to deal with a lot of things at the pension -- I don't have to go to the market for food very often or pay someone to go for me, I don't have to get my own drinking water, or buy things for an apartment.
• Where I live is really secure.  Not that Blandine's isn't, but my place has people there all the time and is on a major road.
• Here at the pension when there's no electricity in the evenings they turn on the generator.

So, if Blandine's sûrement turns into a certainement, in two weeks I'll be making my eighth "permanent" move in 15 years.

Travel by Land, Sea, or Air

My good friend Solencia just left for the airport.  She flies to Port-au-Prince today with Erigeur and Lucson, and tomorrow they drive to Petit Goave to facilitate a Training of Trainers 1.  Today she will fly on a plane for the first time.  It was Lucson's first time flying when he and I went to Petit Goave for the Vision Seminar in May.

Solencia Altidor, CHE trainer.
Photo by Deborah Carr (www.deborahcarr.ca)

In our writing workshops in April, led by Deborah Carr, Solencia wrote the following piece after being given the prompt "I remember a place."  Since it's about overcoming fear during travel, I thought I would share it with you today.  Sadly, she received a phone call just this morning from a friend on the island  that she writes about here -- there was a boat that sank this morning, and 13 of the 23 people on board have not been found.  There are very real reasons to fear traveling here, whether by land, sea, or air.

I remember a place
Solencia Altidor

I remember a place...I went to a Training of Trainers 1 (TOT 1) in Mombin Crochu. As we were traveling, we reached the village of Pignon. After that the roads were terrible and I got very discouraged. I decided I would never travel to that area ever again. While I was at the training I was very happy because it was the first time I received training to become a trainer, which would enable me to work in my community with the Community Health Evangelism (CHE) program.


Another time there was another training in the same part of the country, and even though I'd said that I would never go back there -- well, I felt that God wanted me to continue this work. God gave me the courage and I went there again. It makes me so happy now to be a trainer, working with the CHE program.

I remember a place that I went: [the island of] La Gonave. Before going there, I was someone who was deathly afraid of the sea. Medical Ambassadors Haiti decided to send me to facilitate at the TOT 2 in La Gonave. I was so afraid – I don't even go swimming in the sea, I'm that afraid of it. I got together with my good friend Liz, and she gave me a lot of advice, she encouraged me to not be afraid, because it's God who makes all things. She spent several days praying with me to take away the fear that was inside of me. I went, and I'm no longer afraid. I even went back to La Gonave a second time, because I need to transmit what I've learned with Medical Ambassadors Haiti.

Now I'm no longer afraid – they can decide to send me anywhere and I can go because God took away my fear.

(c) copyright Solencia Altidor. Used with author's permission.

Motivation

Vision Seminar in Petit Goave.  Photo by Kathy Naugle.

The past few weeks have been challenging for me at work -- I've been slow to get over an upper respiratory infection and I still feel very weak, in addition to not being used to the heat.  I've just not been very motivated at work, no matter how many iced coffees I make.

Today one of my tasks is to fill out some forms for funding from the United Nations for some of our cholera work.  I'm just not feeling it today, although this is clearly a very worthy task.  So, as I go back and forth between this and other activities, trying to stay motivated by doing things in short bursts, I remember another post I'd wanted to write.  I've been wanting you to get to see the amazing evaluations we receive after our trainings.  These comments are just one of the many reasons I love being involved with Medical Ambassadors Haiti. 

Comments from Petit Goave Vision Seminar, May 2012:

“I really enjoyed this seminar. It pushed me to figure out how to work together in my community so that things will work well. It made me understand the importance of the Kingdom of God. It gave me a vision for how this program could change the people in my community through the Word of God.”

“I would like another training like this because I'm already thirsty for more.”

“Come back again now, you hear?”

“The lesson 'How God Sees Human Beings' is very valuable.”

“In this training, what was good was the way it was organized – when we debated a subject or a topic we did it as a group. And the lessons were very practical, too. We got to know one another.”

“I would like this program to continue because it is a good program that will teach people how they can live well with God in all different aspects of life.”

“I appreciated the way that Brother Metellus and Dr. Fleming Elizabeth gave all of themselves to present the Gospel of Jesus Christ, during this seminar. We ate, we drank, we played, we laughed together.”

“The lessons that we most important for me was when we follow how God sees the community and the good examples we found about how to show people how to get out of a bad situation.”

“May God cover you with blessings.”

“We thank you for the great things that are being spread throughout the country, because this is something that is very valuable for a community. We do not have enough words with which to thank the trainers.”

“I found many things for my life and for the society in which I live. This training was good, through and through.”

“We found many good techniques for evangelism.”

“I appreciated the way the trainers facilitated the lessons because they made them both theoretical and practical so that everyone was edified.”

“I would like to implement all of these methods in the entire Petit Goave regional area.”

“Starting the very first day this training has been remarkable. By that I mean that the subjects are very interesting and the explanations were very good.”

“All the lessons were important, but the one that really affected me was the one on the Kingdom of God.”

Thanks again to Church of the Resurrection in Kansas City for sponsoring this training!

Vision Seminar in Petit Goave

The beautiful Bay of Petit Goave, southern Haiti

Last month I traveled to southern Haiti to facilitate a three-day vision seminar in the large town of Petit Goave, three hours west of Port-au-Prince.  Church of the Resurrection, a Methodist church in Kansas City, has committed to support the expansion of the Community Health Evangelism (CHE) tools into this part of the country.  We are excited to be asked to accompany them!

Church of the Resurrection contacted the League of Pastors of Petit Goave to gauge their interest in learning about the CHE tools.  The league is composed of several pastoral associations.  In all, 58 pastors and lay leaders came to the seminar, representing 24 different churches and several denominations!

In our trainings we like to have everyone sit in a circle -- this was impossible with such a large group.

Improvisation:  the back wall was too hard to write on, since you had to step up onto dirt to reach it.  So someone rigged this easel-on-folding-chair-supported-by-cinder-block system.  It worked!  Here we were talking about the concept of Shalom:  harmony with God, our neighbor, ourselves, and the environment.

It was a beautiful location -- we met outside under the shade of some large trees.  Here we are on a break with the Bay of Petit Goave in the background.

The man on the right is Lucson, one of our volunteer trainers.  He and I co-facilitated the seminar.

Here I am facilitating a lesson.

 One of the aspects of our ministry in Haiti that I really appreciate is the even mix of men and women among our volunteer trainers, committee members, and community health evangelists.  However, we only had one woman participant on the first day of this vision seminar!

Several spiritual lessons were done each day:  The Great Commission and the Great Commandment, What is Good Health?, How God Sees People and Community, and The Importance of the Kingdom of God for Jesus.  The pastors particularly remarked that they loved our method of Bible study:  participatory and thorough.  They were very appreciative of the questioning, contextual way we approached key verses to get a fuller conception of what is meant and what it means for us personally:  Who wrote the verses?  Who were they writing to?  What do the surrounding verses talk about?  What happened before and after?

We are already planning a Training of Trainers for the first week of July.  This week-long seminar will train volunteer trainers from different churches so that they can begin to implement CHE in their communities.  

A special thanks to Kathy Naugle, from the Church of the Resurrection, who took all of the beautiful photos in this post.  I love this last one with a little girl playing with a puppy.

Amazing Moments

Photo from a writing workshop in L'Acul du Nord (a few days ago)

So, I have these amazing days. Even my ordinary days have amazing moments. It's not just that I love my job, although I do work with wonderful people who are doing all they can do to transform their communities. But I also live in a place of amazing beauty and laughter and dignity and tragedy.

My days are very full and I do not take the time to jot down the special moments. I then forget them. Over the past few weeks I've been translating for a writing workshop and I've been reflecting on what a loss it is to not record these moments. Here's a slice from today:

Today we were in Bas Duty for our sixth writing workshop. The participants were a mixture of trainers, committee members, and house-to-house volunteers from the Community Health Evangelism programs in Bas Duty and its neighbor, Haut Duty. As usual, the work that the participants did was remarkable, both in content and style. Amelina, a trainer, wrote about a trip she took to neighboring Dominican Republic and her thoughts on the two countries. She wrote, “Our country is charged/loaded with riches, but all those riches turn into nothing.” St. Hiloine Platiny commented on how important it was to have written stories, not just oral stories. “If we do not remember where we've come from, we cannot have a future tomorrow.”

During the training I was reminded that my job description includes the need to be physically strong. The site only had a semi-latrine -- a hole low on the back wall extending down to the sloping floor – for men to urinate. It was a huge leap to get up to the latrine. One reached the latrine only after navigating a slippery, muddy path. Thankfully they had loaned us a bucket for the women to use. There were lots of mosquitoes, and I'd only thought to put repellent on my lower legs, not on my behind. Itchy.

We had to work to overcome the noise from the soccer game during the second half of the workshop -- the television for the community was right next door to the building in which we were meeting. There were a lot of people watching the game since Real Madrid, a favorite team, was playing. Some kids lounged in the branches of a mango tree to better see the TV.

As at the conclusion of the other trainings, after several of the participants commented on how much they enjoyed the training and the effort of the facilitators, then it was our job to thank the participants for their time and thank the trainers for their preparations. Then the trainers and the committee presidents spoke. (I'm very please that I'm finally getting better at this sort of thing – I used to forget to do it but now these formalities come naturally.) The first part of the ride home was in the Hamilton's truck, with four extra passengers who were at our training. Hitching a ride is called a wou lib, or “free wheel.”

The second part of the trip home was in a taptap, a small pickup that has the bed fitted with benches and a roof. It's only 10 gourds, or 25 cents, for the 30- to 60-minute ride. I love riding in taptaps. Yes, it's true, the roofs aren't exactly rainproof. And everyone is squished in, and one's head hits the roof or other body parts smash painfully into things due to the bumpy roads. But, as my supervisor once remarked, during the short time of the ride a small community is formed. People discuss politics, yell at other passengers for littering, provide laps for other people's children.

Traveling here is never boring. Today, as we started out along National Highway #1, a man was leading seven cows home. They were tied to walk all seven abreast, taking up most of the road. Then we passed a funeral procession – people slowly marching in front of and behind the hearse. This procession included a choir that was singing beautifully.

Across from me was seated an older woman, wearing a mauve scrub top with the logo of an American homehealth agency and a leopard print skirt. After we passed the procession she started singing the same song that we'd heard from the choir. After a minute my co-worker, the other end of the taptap, said, “You'll make me cry.” He said it several times, albeit with a smile on his face, but she didn't stop. Someone else said, “Madam, maybe he just had someone die, he says you'll make him cry.” She kept singing the rest of the trip, different hymns in Kreyol and French.

Soon we see people streaming down the street, some laughing and shouting and running. Someone in the taptap says, “The soccer game must be over.”

I get off at the end of the line in downtown Cap Haitien. I start to walk home since it is only 30-some short blocks. I love walking, there is so much to see. As usual, I pass by the Boy Chill Barbershop, its doors painted with combs, a hairdryer, a razor, and also painted heads of men with very neat haircuts and trimmed beards.

I love living here.

Traveling Again!

I just got back from northeastern Haiti -- we're doing a series of workshops for some of our Community Health Evangelism volunteers. I hope to write a post on these workshops soon, but till then I'll leave you with links to others' posts about them:

Deborah Carr, writing coach and our workshop facilitator

Rhonda Hamilton, intern with Medical Ambassadors Canada

Both of these women are great photographers, so I encourage you to go to their blogs not just to read but also to see!

I, on the other hand, am not a talented photographer. I could not even seem to get a great picture of my leg -- and I so wanted you to be able to appreciate my latest drama.


Both of my lower legs are covered in two kinds of bites: these bites surrounded by red halos, and smaller punctate bites (in clumps of 20-ish). Yup, I didn't think I needed to take insect repellent to the mountains because of the lower temperatures there. Oops.

A couple of days in the Dominican Republic

It was phenomenal to stay at Marie's brother's place in Santo Domingo. (Marie is the wife of our Haiti director, and I accompanied her back to the Dominican Republic for more medical tests.) It has been great to get to know her better, and this trip I got to spend two nights at her brother Filone's place. The house is in a nice neighborhood but was left unoccupied for some years, so it was stripped of electrical wiring and doesn't have running water. A nice neighbor, Ito, fills buckets with water for Filone. So we took bucket baths via cell phone light in the evenings. Marie's three other brothers and her sister's husband also live in Santo Domingo and the evenings were filled with visitors – including Marie's adorable 16-month-old twin nieces and some of Filone's Dominican neighbors.

Marie with her brother and his twin daughters

Filone took me on a run the last evening. I haven't run for months, so it was awesome. He really should be an athletic trainer – he kept encouraging me to add in all sorts of Rocky-like moves to my run.

Ito supplied a book so that I could help one of Marie's nieces, Franchesca, with her reading. She's been held back in school and so I'd asked Ito if he had any children's books. At first he said no, but then he came back with a manual on aqueducts and water systems! It had some nice cartoon pictures of community meetings and wells, and we actually did use it for a bit.

Franchesca and I played games with letters and then she did some drawings. She made a lovely drawing of the two of us as princesses in a castle, dancing! Marie later told me that after the first night she and her parents visited, Franchesca – who had seemed rather shy – had asked her mother if I “like black people.” The need for her to ask kind of depresses me, but I love that she was apparently satisfied enough with the answer to play with me that second night.

Franchesca with her mom.

There is no kitchen in the house so Ito, the neighbor, provided coffee the first morning that we were there. The second morning we had to get up at 4:15 am to take the bus to Santiago for another medical appointment, so at midnight the night before Ito brought over a thermos of coffee – what a sweetheart!

In the Santiago hospital the next day I was reminded of Dominican manners, which are similar to Haitian ones in some ways. When you walk into a waiting room you say “good morning” to the people already there, and you also greet people when you get on an elevator.  I think I might make some people nervous in the US if I start doing this....

The next day Marie and I went to the bus station so that she could go back home to Haiti. God really provided for us – Genson and Claudia, two acquaintances of mine, were there waiting for the same bus! So she wasn't alone on the trip, and they were able to help her at the border crossing. Also, a mutual friend came to pick up Genson and Claudia from the bus station and also took Marie home. What a blessing!

After seeing Marie off, I got on a bus to go up to the north coast for a few days of vacation. The bus dropped me off in the bigger city down the road, and I was informed by a fellow passenger that a carro would be cheaper than a taxi to get to Cabarete, my final destination. The taxi drivers at the bus drop-off nicely told me where to wait for a carro, and that I should look for one with a blue gorrita (that means ball-cap, but in the DR apparently also means a little plastic sign on top of the car). A van pulled up and I got in – 25 pesos for me and another 25 for my carry-on-sized bag, since it would be taking the space of a person. I got a little over half of my behind on the seat, and held on to the outside of the roof with the sliding side door open beside me. The cobrador – who assigns people to their places, signals the driver when to stop, and takes the fares – was standing in the open doorway. At one point as we were curving sharply he held up his leg to block me from falling out!

Other posts I'm in

Yay for friends! My new friend and ministry colleague, Rhonda Hamilton, has a blog that is well worth reading if you want to learn more about missions, cross-cultural adjustment, or hear a unique perspective on Haiti. She has written about our Grand Goave trip, including many hilarious details that I didn't put in my posts.

In addition, she wrote a lovely post about me! Once again I say, yay for friends!

All in all

Three things:

1. I read a little prayer in a tract found at a mall in the early 80s and I asked God to forgive me of my sins. In January of 1992 I sensed the presence of the Holy Spirit. Over the next couple of years I started to learn what it meant to both love and serve God and also to learn the truths about who I really was: loved, significant, made in the image and likeness of God, a person with a purpose. I learned that there was healing for past wounds.

2. At church on Sunday the pastor said that when we talk about God, it shows that we are thinking about God. And when we talk about other things more than God, that shows that God isn't a priority in our life. I've been reflecting on that, particularly tonight when I just wrote a Facebook note that didn't mention God at all except in a song title -- and then only in brackets.

3. I haven't dated since Valentine's Day, seventeen years ago. The only thing really memorable about that relationship was its ironic ending, actually on this holiday. 

What's the relationship between these three items? God is my all in all. Sure, I sometimes take my eyes off of Jesus. Sometimes I forget who I am. But, really, the truth is that God is my all in all.

I hear very frequently that the struggles and joys of marriage and parenting are a significant way for one to grow closer to God. The struggles with our spouse or the challenges of parenting lead us to rely on God more and we learn hard lessons in submission and service. Viewed positively, the relationship with our spouse shows us the miracle of true intimacy, our unqualified love for our children teaches us God's inexhaustible love for us. I don't dispute any of this, and I am glad that God uses marriage and parenting to deepen people's walk with God. Over Christmas, though, I was skimming through a book written by someone in a Bruderhof community. The author mentioned that it says in the Bible that single people are primed to grow close to God. In Paul's first letter to the Corinthians he says that unmarried people can have their attention fully focused on God, undivided, wholly devoted.

How does this play out?  I told someone from my Minnesota church last summer that I had decided that I was going to take more time off because really, I was 40-years-old and it was time to do what I wanted. Now, I didn't know this person very well, and he very appropriately questioned what I meant. I mean:

• It was for freedom that Christ has set me free. I serve God, and my relationship and service to my supervisor and co-workers is a reflection of that – but not taking the time off that my organization gives me because of fear of disapproval or misunderstandings is not right.
• God has beautiful ways of doing things, and wants me to live abundantly, spending time with family and friends both in rest and service to them.
• God has actually designed me to work better with periods of rest, both in the day, week, and year. There is wisdom in living within the rhythms of life.
• While it is true that I have been created for good works (Ephesians 2:10) I have been created to do these works in multiple contexts, not just at my job.
• My heart (again, when I'm fully me) is to do what God wills. I have tasted and seen that God is good -- over and over. So when I say that I'm going to do what I want, I mean what God has for me. And remember, it's been just Jesus and me for a long time.
• Until this earth is fully redeemed/renewed/remade (depending on your eschatology), there will constantly be a lot of work to be done that seems urgent (the Bible seems to indicate work even on the New Earth, but I don't think the sense of urgency will be there). Just because I see a need it does not mean that I am necessarily the one to fill it. My role may be to find the right person to do it. Or weep for the injustice and hardness in the world. Or pray that others will be inspired to get involved. Or wait.
• God is sovereign, and the work that needs to be done will get done:

1) likely much better if I work in God's way

2) possibly regardless, because God can do that

3) I will be living out the glory of God as I trust.

So, I don't know. Tonight I wrote a whole joyous Facebook note about being free and running and loving where I am in life. Jesus was in there the whole time. I didn't say his name, though. And maybe I should have; I'm still thinking about this. If you didn't see Jesus in that post, I'd be happy to expand on it, just like I did with Charlie at the church retreat last summer.

Grand Goave, southern Haiti, part 4

Those of us staying in the village (three trainers and two interns) were given a “first breakfast” of boiled plantains and yams. This was served with a different sauce each day, sometimes with fish or hot dogs in it. Our “second breakfast” was later in the day with the Training of Trainers (TOT) participants, and was spaghetti nearly every day. This is a traditional Haitian breakfast, and we were offered canned tomato paste, ketchup, Tobasco, and mayonnaise for toppings. Lunch was rice and beans with either fried chicken legs or a meat and vegetable sauce.

After the participants went back to their mountain homes, we would pack up from the day (we emptied out the training center, a local church, each night), discuss the day, walk down the back of the mountain to get water, bathe.

Above is one of our master trainers, Erigeur, with the indefatigable Gena.

Here is the local watering hole: kids collecting water in buckets on the left, people of all ages bathing on the right (including me the day before -- every other day I elected to bucket bathe on top of the mountain).

Then we were served my favorite meal of the day: labouyi. This is a porridge made of plantains, milk, and sugar. Mmmm..... They turned on a generator for an hour or so, then it was bedtime.

Above you can see an intense game of dominos being played (center) and a girl having her hair done (left). The guys are wearing hats because it's cold.

We stayed in a one-room cabin which was normally used as a meeting room and which, as you can see, allowed all the cool air to blow in. It wasn't so bad at 8 pm (the time of this picture), but got really chilly as the night wore on. The first night none of us really slept due to the cold and pain -- most of us were sleeping almost directly on the concrete. And have I mentioned the donkeys and their bizarre, loud braying? The second night we hung up extra sheets to block the wind, and we were loaned hooded sweatshirts and more blankets and padding. I should have taken an early morning pic of my fellow trainers looking like mummies -- covered from head to toe to block out the cold.

At the end of one of the days I used up my laptop battery correcting one of the supplements we use. A lot of our materials need revision, and this one was difficult to read due to several translation and spelling errors. I could have revised materials every evening if I would have charged up my laptop while the generator was running each night. (One night I did request to charge my cell phone – they had to remove one of the 13 cell phones that were plugged in at the house with the generator to make room for mine.)

I didn't ever re-charge my computer, though. Our days were already long, and I was really tired at the end of every day – when I wasn't facilitating a lesson I was interpreting everything (both what the facilitators said and all of the participants' comments) for our Canadian interns.

So, I thought I might end up here (one of many tiny cemeteries dotting the landscape) due to my rigorous schedule of late. However, the mountain air and walks were so refreshing -- God is gracious and his love is never ending!

There were lots of challenges with this training. Several of the participants had a hard time grasping the volunteer nature of our program. In addition, I think a lot of them went away thinking that Community Health Evangelism (CHE) is exclusively spiritual. This happens a lot – people either think that all we do is community health and development, or all we do is evangelism. It takes a mental shift for people to see that, in a kingdom of God mindset, they can all happen together. This mental shift can happen during a TOT, and many of our lessons are about the holistic nature of the gospel and examples of how CHE works practically.

Yay! Here we all are at the end of the training! And one final big thanks to Lydia Hamilton, who took most of the pics in this blog post.

Grand Goave, southern Haiti, part 3

Adorable children! These girls frequently stood outside the building where we had the training and often would start dancing when they perceived that they were being watched. ;-)

At one point we separated the class into two groups to put the steps to implement a Community Health Evangelism program in order. Then a couple of "moderators" from each group were chosen to look at the other group's responses as they were discussed.

It got a little heated! Each group wanted more "right" answers (not really the spirit we were going for).


Above you can see Gena (pink shirt) laughing at it all. She got our water every day (see the first post in this series), something that was one of her daily tasks anyway for her extended family.


This is where Gena lives with her extended family, which includes her uncle, a prominent leader in the community and our host. We stayed right next door.

Above you can see another donkey. Again, I would like to ask, what is up with the braying?

Once more I would like to thank Lydia Hamilton who took most of the pictures used in this post.

Grand Goave, southern Haiti, part 2

Did you know that donkeys bray any time, day or night? And it's freaky weird and loud and goes on longer than you would think.

Part of the Training of Trainers 1, which trains one of the critical groups involved in a Community Health Evangelism program, has the soon-to-be trainers come up with their own sketches to introduce the subjects that they will be teaching in the future. This is one of my favorite parts of the training, since it always involves a lot of laughing!

In the above picture the group presented a story about a man with a serious headache (who has already gone to the doctor) who asks some of his friends to pray for him. They said that they would go get people from the church to come over some time "later." They were trying to illustrate how people in the church are either not trained or are unwilling to pray with others, instead relying on the "experts."

We were all laughing during this sketch for a few reasons -- none of which were intended by the group, unfortunately. Firstly, the physical position that the protagonist adopted for most of the sketch is one usually associated with diarrhea. Secondly, the protagonist was played by Jackson, who'd made us laugh all week already. You see, during the first session of our training the participants come up with the "rules of the game" that they agree to follow: telephones on vibrate, respect others' opinions, etc. They also come up with a punishment. This group decided that people who violated the rules would have to dance (or drink a gallon of water, but no one took that option).

Jackson ended up leading the rule-breakers in their dances to make sure that they really danced. He would do crazy motions and make the others follow, saying, "Lower, really get down!" or "No, your other hand in the back!"

Above is another group's sketch about the importance of evangelism. The two people seated are bound with pieces of paper which say peche, or "sin."

Above you see another sketch about the importance of taking care of the environment. The woman is miming the typical way of cooking while the ground near her is littered with trash.

The above picture is for my Arizona church -- I felt "at home" when seeing this all around! (Yucca, isn't it?)

Yet again I would like to thank Lydia Hamilton, who took all of the above pictures.

Grand Goave, southern Haiti, part 1

This has been a season of travel – since late October I've been “home” in Cap Haitien only a handful of weeks. My last travel blog post was about my time in Peru. After that trip I was home for four days followed by:

• Leogane, southern Haiti: Training of Trainers 1 for a partner mission organization
• Cap Haitien, northern Haiti (home): Christmas and New Year's and office time
• near Cabarete, Dominican Republic: vacation with our Canadian intern family!
• Santiago, DR: helping Marie, the wife of our Haiti director, get medical treatment
• Grand Goave, southern Haiti: Training of Trainers 1 for a partner mission organization
• Santiago, DR: return to continue Marie's medical visits

Today I want to write about Grand Goave – what a great trip! I went there last week as one of three facilitators in order that I could also interpret the TOT into English for our Canadian interns, Rick and Rhonda, who hadn't yet taken a TOT1. Except for some car sickness and lots of waiting, we traveled there uneventfully – flight from Cap Haitien to Port-au-Prince, then a several-hour drive from there to the city of Grand Goave, where we stayed overnight and then went via truck up into the mountains the next morning (pictured above).

The whole area is incredibly rocky.


Above is the path down the back of the mountain where our hosts got our water for bathing. I hauled up a gallon container (and had to stop a few times to rest), while our host effortlessly carried a 5-gallon bucket (40 pounds!) on her head.

Above you see Rhonda going back up the hill.

This, again, is the PATH. Crazy with rocks!

Every day we woke up with the sun (or earlier, due to the cold). I hiked up to the top of our little mountain in the mornings to have some prayer time at a beautiful overlook.

Above is the road as it flattens out at the top.

This is the view of the bay and the town of Grand Goave.

A special thanks to Lydia Hamilton (daughter of our Canadian interns) for the photos in these posts on Grand Goave!